Phonecalls and Footfalls
by LunaAngel-Eclipse
Summary: OC x Hetalia,won't have romance as the oc is like 13. America gets a phone call from a woman(?) and the rest of the countries listen in. They want to get to the bottom of it and maybe meet this mystery woman. Why does she know of the countries if they are top secret? Not to mention how it only gets more confusing with each call!
1. The Phonecall

Please note: If you want this to be/not be romantic, I would love for you to tell me. It influences how fast every chapter will come out, if I know if it's going to be romantic or not.  
>Edit: I've decided (after changing the OC I'm using) there is not any romance, just family friendship and humour. It's mostly because my oc is now 13-ish.<p>Phonecalls and Footfalls  
>Chapter 1: A Phonecall<p>The sound of a guitar played throughout the meeting hall. Everyone was quiet and looking at Spain.<p>

**_"_****_Baby, baby, when we first met  
>I never felt something so strong<br>You were like my lover and my best friend  
>All wrapped into one, with a ribbon on it<em>**

**_And all of a sudden, when you left  
>I didn't know how to follow, it's like a shot<br>That spun me around and now my heart dead  
>I feel so empty and hollow"<em>**

"What the hell is that?" questioned England. All heads then turned to a certain self-proclaimed, hero, also known as the source of the sound.

America chuckled nervously and flashed everyone a sheepish grin. 'Ooops!' was written all over his blushing, embarrassed face. "That's my new ring-tone, gotta take this dudes!"

And with that, he flew out of the door like someone set fire to his trousers. Not only that, he had an exited look in his eyes, like he had expected and waited for this call.

"€50 says it's a pretty girl on the end of zat phone." Challenged Francis, with a cocky smirk in England's direction. Said nation wouldn't back down from the obvious challenge.

"You're on, frog."

"Shush you guys! I wanna hear the conversation!" hissed Elizabeta in a hushed tone. Everyone, despite themselves, went quiet so they could pry into America's might-be-private affairs. They realized it was on speaker, so they were even more interested.

**"****So how's the meeting going?"**

"It's really loud like always!" Replied America, chuckling "I'm surprised a fight hasn't broke out yet! France and England are always at each other's necks!"

"**How am I not surprised? It's just like you to have such work colleagues.**"

America full out laughed at the dead-pan response from his companion. "Don't be so sour, Sweetie Pie, I know you wish you were here~!"

"**You're not wrong there!**" laughed the girls's voice from the phone.

"Anyway, I gotta go! A hero can't keep people waiting!"

**"****Indeed, indeed. Good bye for now!**"

"Au reviour, mon petit agneau~!" said Alfred before ending the call.

America swiftly opened the door, only to see the countries (most of them) piled up on the floor. Little did he know that they had been leaning on the door he had swung open.

"Uhhh…" There were no words to describe what it looked like. Suddenly, as if a switch was flipped, everyone jolted and was up on their feet, discussing what they heard. The loudest being 'Pay up England' and 'America's getting some!'  
>"Whoa, dudes! What did I miss?" There was a bit of silence before the bad touch trio (France, Prussia and Spain) loomed over him with creepy grins on their faces.<p>

"Vell, Vell, Vell…What 'ave we 'ere?" began France.

"America, but something's missing…" continued Spain.

And Prussia finished off, "He's lost his virginity, that's vhat…"

"What?" cried Alfred in shock: he was beyond confused. Germany, deciding to be the mature one and actually look for answers clarified

for the poor man.

"We heard the conversation you had; or at least some of it."

"Yeah, Alfred. Why did you call her 'sweetie pie' and 'mon petit agneau', Vee~?" the innocent Italy, who was side-by-side with a German and Japanese man.

" 'My little lamb*'?" France repeated Americas words but in English. "Sounds like someone was wooing a girl with the language of love~"

"Oh, you mean that!" cheered the Hero triumphantly "She's just my friend."

"You don't call your just-a-friend 'sweetie pie' or 'my little lamb'!" counted a frustrated and puzzled England.

"The cat thing is just a nick-name and it in French 'cause she's French on her dad's side. Well, kinda..." Explained America, "The 'sweetie pie' was an inside joke, plus it gets on her nerves which is fun."

Silence. That was it. Everyone (save for a few) thought they got their hands on something juicy. Turns out they were wrong. Or were they?

"So…" said a slightly dejected France "Just friends?"

"Yep"

"Friends with benefits?" said Antonio hopefully.

"Yes-wait- NO!"

"Oh!" called out Prussia with a sly grin and red eyes like a chest full of fire, mischief and cunning, "The awesome me sees a blush~!"  
>BONK! Germany slapped his brother upside the head. "Be quiet about it already!" He yelled in his German accent.<br>And so, a huge debate *cough* fight *cough, cough* about the mystery caller –whom still wasn't named- broke out. Just another day in the world of Hetalia.

**A/N  
>Me: so who is the mysterious caller? Is there something…intimate…going on between them? I'll tell you now, no, there isn't. But hey! It's the first chapter, how can there already be a boyfriend-girlfriend situation going on? And she's also kinda 12 or something! That'd be really dang creepy!<br>?:How long was this chap anyway? 100 words? You're so lazy!  
>Me: Shush up you! It was 732 words actually!<br>?: You goal is 1,000 per chapter ya bell end!  
>Me: You sure like making people depressed don'cha?<br>?: Nope, just you! *giggles like a creep*  
>Me: Hmph, ANYWHO! In regards to the asterix (*) I just wanted to say something bout the translation. Often an animal noun changes, depending on if it's being addressed as food or not. I couldn't find the non-food version, so if this word is wrong, my excuse is America can't speak French for crap! ^w^<strong>


	2. In America

Phonecalls and Footfalls  
>Chapter 2: Skelletons in the Closet<p>WARNING: SUGGESTIVE OF P*RN. YEH. ALSO TALKS ABOUT UNDERWEAR.<p>

"Hahahahaha!" Alfred belted out laughter at the sight before him. He was gasping for air, holding his stomach and rolling around on the floor. How could this get any better?

After America's phone call with the enigma on the other end of the line, the already hyper, chaotic discussion had gotten even more out of hand.

"Onhonhonhon~!" France's infamous laugh filled England's ears. "I **bet** you wish you were America right now!"

England when red in the face from rage (and maybe some bashfulness), "I'm not a pervert, unlike _some_ people! Only you would be as low as to steal someone's girlfriend!"

"So you admit I get more girls! You agree love is magic, unlike the stage-tricks you do! " The annoyingly triumphant face sent England into a rampage.

"I SAID NOTHING OF THE SORT, YOU GIT!" Enraged, Britain lunged at the pervert, sending him to the floor with a CRASH! Prussia was cheering for his friend and Spain was laughing heartily: they found this to be a normal occurrence and a great form of entertainment. Romano (South Italy) and Germany couldn't disagree more. The Italian yelled to the Spaniard about 'Shitty perverts' and 'barstard tea-drinkers' while the German scolded his older brother (yes Prussia is –surprisingly- older) about 'ridicules arguments' and 'time-wasting idiots'.

Italy, on the other hand, was with Japan. "Vee~ Why did America have that strange ringtone?"  
>"Itary-san, I don't think anyone knows." Japan was even more confused. The slightly depressing love song didn't suit his energetic comrade. Why did it have to be so strange? Everything is simpler in Japan…<p>

"We should forget and become one, da?" At this point, Italy was so freaked out by the aura of the scary-as-fudge Russian that he jumped on Japan sending them both to the ground. At this same time, one of deepest fears came true. There was a man crushing him to the ground. "I-itary-san! Prease get off! Personar space!"

"Om my god Japan save me! HelpMeHelpMeHelpMe! Germany save me from Russia! DOITSU!" he was practically in tears now. Why me?

Meanwhile in Russia's head _I just want them to be with me…they will become one, and then they will never leave me by myself! Actually…I haven't seen Belarus all day. She will leave me alone, da? No more scary Bela-_

"Big brother!" _N-nooo!_ Belarus jumped on her brothers back. "Marry me….."

"Marry me…marry me"

"MARRY ME! MARRY ME!"

Can you really blame America for cracking up? Honestly, I would join him. *ahem* Back to this situation...

There were few who weren't taking part in the ruckus, in some shape or form. Even Greece had awoken and was 'debating' loudly with his Turkish enemy. Often one wonders how such hate can be found in the world. Look into this hall and you can see the world- literally- is a chaotic bunch of people with little peace making skills. (A/N I almost spelt it 'skillz'! XD)

Once again the infamous sound of guitar skilfully blaring through the hall. Heads all turned, once again, to our tomato loving, guitar playing, child loving Spaniard.

"Why do you all look at me? We already now it's America's girlfriend calling!" Pointed out the the man, a (manly, mind you) pout on his tan face, a few curly chestnut locks falling into his ears from his little scuffle with South Italy earlier. In response, everyone's heads snapped to America so fast it was surprising they didn't have whiplash.

One of the main reasons everyone was so gripped on the mini-drama is so that they could prove someone wrong about the American nation's 'girlfriend'.

On the other hand, England; too prideful to admit it, was worried about America. He didn't want the poor youngster -in his view at least- to have a broken heart. As I said, he wouldn't admit, but he couldn't imagine America without his bright, optimistic smile and flawless determination.

As soon as 'Merica picked up the whole room heard: "**Я хочу ответы на некоторые вопросы от вас**!" Russia's head tilted in curiosity. Why was she saying 'I want some answers from you!'?

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN RUSSIAN?!" _Indeed. Why is she? She is my citizen, maybe...?_ Thought the tall country.

"**WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN ENGLISH?!**"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?!" _Yes, why?_ Agreed everyone else in the **room**.

"**I DON'T KNOW! LET'S STOP!**" Germany absent-mindedly noted that America had left the phone on speaker from the previous conversation and hadn't yet noticed.

"OKA- I mean- okay!" If you listened close enough, you could hear a relieved 'finally' from Japan, and other various personifications.

"So…" America began awkwardly, obviously confused as to why he was being called a second time. "Why'd you call, bro?"

**"****Well, I was cleaning…"**

"Yeah."

"**So I decided to go into your room, since you don't EVER clean in there…**"

Strangely enough, America shifted uncomfortably and stared to look around, slightly alarmed. Even the fairly spacey N. Italy noticed his suspicious change in attitude.

"Y-yeah…"

_Is he hiding something dirty in his room?_ Thought France, _I remember having some pictures that should be censored from that one party where I drank a little too much…Prussia and Spain are determined not to let me live THAT down!_

_What has that idiot got himself into now? Really! I sure as hell didn't raise him to keep stupid bloody trinkets in his room!_

**"****So I looked into your wardrobe…**" She continued a slight change in her voice. By now, America was – quite literally – sweating buckets. Eyes looking everywhere, frantically looking for an excuse to NOT have the conversation.

France and Prussia began to imagine what dirty and/or embarrassing things he could have: from their own experiences of people digging through their stuff. Were there very GRAPHIC magazines in there? Very ADULT items?!

Feli, however, was in a completely different mind-set. What if he had dead bodies in there?! After verbalising his ideas, he successfully freaked out his brother, S. Italy, and said country's (now flustered) frenemy, Spain.

"**What do you think I found?**" Now her voice was, though still sweet, was menacingly so. The seemingly innocent question had such an overbearing dark undertone, that Alfred was quaking in his boots.

"N-nothing! Hero's don't have dark secrects!"

In response, she said "**Really? Because there's some dead bodies in he-**"

"WHAT?!" Bellowed America in shock, "I ONLY HAVE YOUR PANTIES IN THERE!"

"**…**"

"Wait. Did I just-"

"**Yes. Yes you did**." She was clear amused with the whole situation. She then said quickly:

"**Well Auf Wiedersehen*! Be prepared for slow painful death when I next see you.**" With a creepily innocent voice before hanging up.

"..."

There was a brief moment of silence.


End file.
